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[Thursday
June
2nd, 2005
1:16am] |
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ok i finshed my new lj! yes im still going to use this one to mess around with and i might update sometimes in here! so dont delate this one delate " __foreverfallin" ok love you guys i will change this one back to normel tomorrowm im tired im going to bed nite nite
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| update |
[Wednesday
June
1st, 2005
8:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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3 doors down! |
] |
ok as i said once i figured what i wanted my s/n to be i would post it well it is my_lost_words add it if you want i will i think every one on here to my new one. now it will take me some times to start writing in my new one because i have to see what i want to do with it. i have already delated my other journal __foreverfallin so dont worry about just delate it thankz :) hope everyone is having a great time love you all and thankz for understanding my change :)
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| new.. |
[Wednesday
June
1st, 2005
5:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
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music |
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tv in the living room |
] |
hey guys well i kinda have messed up my live journal here i dont like it...and i feel like i need a new one and i dont feel like using my other one that some of you have so i will be delating this journal and my other one in a couple days or so.. i will add all of you back on speicaly the people i love. if you dont want to be added again let me know ok? im not sure if it will be a friends only or not. but i just thought i would let you know. i will post my new s/n when i come up with it. thankz love ya. if you have any ideas of what my s/n should be let me know ok thankz love ya guys..
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| Looking back on things always hurts the heart... |
[Sunday
May
29th, 2005
8:10pm] |
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Well I dont update much anymore? I really dont know why just dont... But tonite I was looking and reading all the entries and comments people made. Wow my life is really an up and down thing. Ive made some really different choices like this year I really did try and kill myself. Shocker there! Ive gone through alot with all my friends. Fights, tears,long talks, making new ones. love the friends I have rite now they rock so bad!Now on to my parents wow! That has sucked so much with them.I think that has been one of the biggest things that has happen to me. Ive gotten closer to my mum and dont talk or stand my dad anymore. I have no clue what will happen this next year with my family I hate them a times but I dont know? I have let alot out this year I think. I have let out so many tears for so many different reason. I even feel like crying rite now because Im thinking about all this stuff. I hope next year is much better. I love you guys that have helped me so much I never want to lose you guys!
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| I am living through the dark black eye liner |
[Saturday
May
28th, 2005
11:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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radio- 101.1 |
] |
Wow this summer has been so kool so far and it hasnt even started. Hung out with Kim friday and today fun fun! Stuff has been great I cant believe it! Andrew and I are doing fine! Im so happy about that. OH Happy Belated Birthday Andrew! :) Well here are some weird pics funny some1 hope you guys are having a great time leave a comment about when we can get together! i love ya guys!!!
p.s sorry i havent been writing just havent wanted to and havent had the time
:(
http://photobucket.com/albums/y108/CornBread202/?action=logout
tell me what you think of the pics ^
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| Broken Center ROCK! |
[Monday
May
23rd, 2005
6:18pm] |
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Wow its been a long time sence I updated! Oh well I have been to busy... Well I guess this is the part where I update you on stuff... Friday we will start because it was awsome! I got into a fight with Ashleigh! HaHAHAH that was so much fun she got all upset. Oh well she needed it! Anyways that nite was ok talked online. Saturday Kimmy came over we hung out and went downtown that nite Justin wanted us to see his friends band "Broken Center" who kick some major! asss! So her and I staied there till 12am.Wow so much fun!Justin was pretty kool. He is Kim's bitch lol! Then sunday we hung out finished my projects and stuff. I fought with my dad alot. At times I wish he would just leave its not like he is really in my life rite now anyways? Today was ok saw Andrew finally! I never get to see him but school :( tears! 2days till summer and I get to hang out with all my friends again and this summer Im going to change so get ready people I love it! well Im done byes love ya guys
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| I feel like Im losing you... |
[Wednesday
May
18th, 2005
9:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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losing love |
] |
We never talk anymore. I remeber the days when we talked till 4am. Now I cant even get 20mins out of you. I remeber when we would send text messages back and forth all through the day. Now I dont even get one... We dont talk on the phone anymore telling each other how much we love each other.. We dont even hang out anymore. Dont you see how I feel that Im losing you? I dont want to but I feel I am. I hope we figure something out because Im runnning out of tears... :(
Have you ever felt like you were losing some one you loved? or even a friend? I am rite now I feel like Im losing him. I felt like this for a while now and I just dont know what to do? Ive been so lost lately in stuff Ive been saying stuff like nothin is holding me back from leaving and now I really think it is true! Besides a few friends I dont need to stay here. Even tho Im not moving I think if we were I would just go.I just want everything to go back to the old days when I was happy and Stuff was holding me back.Ive been fighting alot with my dad lately. I dont feel my self lately either. Im not the person I am always atleast I dont think so. Maybe Im wrong? Maybe this summer will change some stuff.. But him I dont know I dont want to lose him but he is the one backing away... I think Im going to write a poem like old times..
LOST LOVE....
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| Why do I even care anymore? |
[Wednesday
May
18th, 2005
7:33pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
Im so happy so is almost done! Thank god! I dont feel like writing rite now but I will later..
But please i want you to do something for
~Leave a comment that tells a secert, or anything you want to get out. Either you can tell me who you are or you dont and maybe I can help in someway?
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| Your the reason for these tears but your also the reason for the smile |
[Tuesday
May
17th, 2005
9:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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101.1 |
] |
I guess Im not into writing in here much anymore? IM not sure. Things have been ok could be better? Went to the condo this past weekend with Kim. I got burnt! My tummy and legs are RED! But Im ok. School is almost done and Im happy about it but Im not ya know? I have to do something with all my friends this summer!!! I have alot going on this summer... I get to go to Orlando for a week for FFA stuff that is going to be so much fun! I cant wait! Also I am going to spend time with all my friends this summer not like last summer. I might take a driving coruse too! :) Also I hope to spend time with Andrew because rite now we arent spending any time together besides school :( I dont know whats going on there but I know that I love that kid so much he makes me so happy "when we are together"
My parents are fighting mum is sick yet again always FUN! I have been fighting with my dad alot I have no clue why. But he has been bugging me alot! I wish he would just get off his ass and do something oh well... We're not moving yet but we still dont know about our paper work because dad hasnt checked on it! Oh well Im saying that there isnt really anything stoping I guess Im not sure still.I wish there was but rite now my mind is saying no because Im so confused on alot of things ya know..? Now that Im thinking of it I feel like crying. God cant I just get over it! Im such a loser and a baby I sware..!
Well I guess I better go maybe I will keep thinnking about this stuff Im not sure????
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| Somethings just dont feel rite anymore... |
[Friday
May
13th, 2005
8:41pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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3 doors down |
] |
Well I havent updated in a little while but hey whats there really to say my life is GAY! The only thing that is good rite now is that I got into this club at school that I wanted too Renaissance!! Im so happy Kimmy got into it too! Anyways this weekend I think Im going to the condo finally with Kimmy. I dont feel like staying home anymore. :( Ive been upset all week expect monday I dont know why tho..? Like yesterday I was so pissed about something I just couldnt find out what it was... I hate feeling that way because everyone asks you what is wrong and you cant really answer them.. My mum asked me last nite if I wanted to move back home. To tell you the truth besides school I want to. I dont know what it is. I mean if we move back stuff with school and my diabets will be really different but Im so confused rite now about alot of things. Im not going to move yet? But its in my head rite now. I have realized theres not alot stoping me from leaving besides school and my diabets if you really think about it? But hey rite now its just in my head... Some people at school and just in life have been buging me alot and most likely its not you reading this "just to let you know" but I think it is because we only have a week and a half left of school and I just want out. I cant wait till summer life might be eazier in someways maybe? I dont know Im most likely wrong. Anyways Andrew and I are I guess are ok. Ive been thinking about that lately too. I love that kid so much but.. yea theres "but" theres something bugging me in this relationship.I feel like I dont know how to say it but Im going to try and talk to him tonite about it and I hope I can figure it out because I dont want to lose him. Besides that theres not alot going on Im doing ok in my classes schools almost done and parents well what do you think fighting like always nothin really new there. I guess thats all I have to say rite now I hope things go ok this weekend most likely telling you the truth they wont but hey I really dont give a shit anymore? Later guys!
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| When I say jump you jump... |
[Sunday
May
8th, 2005
5:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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3 Doors Down |
] |
Omg this weekend speicaly sat. rocked! The only good part about friday was I got an award at the baquet and Jade came over.Well Anyways moving on to one of the best days!
One of the best bands there was 3 Doors Down! I think that is my new favorite band but there was this other band there it was a native band playing on the other stage they were called Atomic Tangerine.Those guys kicked so much ass. They were so good and they have a cd coming soon and I going to go buy it! All the other bands were great too.
There were some people crowd surfing and moshing. I think one rule they should have and I think Britanee put this in her live journal is if you are Fat Dont Crowd Surf! Anways saw so much weed there haha. Britanee told me about this guy next to her smoked 3 joints in in one song.ONE SONG! Dude wtf? We also saw some people that got knocked out from to much drugs bad! Tisk tisk!
After the show we went to Bugar King in Deland by the movies omg that was fun lol. All of us only had like $20s left so we had to do 4 different orders they made us go around two times. errr!So Brianee's mum orders first and we go around well Im siting in the back and I see these guys in a truck behide and the one wasnt bad looking. So I was like guys give me the restroom sign. haha I put it up to the window of the truck and the guys start to laugh there ass off lol. god im good :) Then Daralene put up the sticker that said "dont be a dick" they laughed so har domg it was so funny! Then we went around againto order Jades and mine food we got to the window and said " we were going to come back around" and the guy gave us a dirty look. So Britanee's mum said"you were a big pain" and the guy said"you were also a big pain" How rude! Sowe came home and crash. I woke up this morning got dressed dad came and got me. Went to the farm feed and went to walmart and got mum her gifts. She loved them then we went to go see her friend and went out to lunch. Came home took a nap and had dinner and stuff. so that was my day. I had the best weekend in a long time. I want to thank Britanee, her mum, Daralene, Jade and my parent.I love you guys!
Happy Mothers Day. Tell your mum that!
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| It finally came out ?..... |
[Wednesday
May
4th, 2005
6:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
Wow I never knew this could happen I finally realized that I am really like my mum in so many ways.Yesterday was fine till I got home.My parents and I got into this huge fight and it sucked so bad. I still feel like we are fighting but we're not? but we are. Special my parents are fighting with each other. Now I have said alot of times that I just want to die well last nite was my night where I did. For the first time I really did cut my self...It was out of anger and pain. What was really weird is I showed my mum when she was yelling at me and she got mad so mad.I ran to go out the door but didnt make it they stopped me my mum made be go to the living with her and talk she thought I might do something like this soon. :( because both her and dad had tried when they were younger. She thought I was stronger but Im not really at all :( We fought till like 2 am.... I have never felt so sad in my life... I didnt go to first period I was all said all day Andrew tried to make me feel better and he did kinda I wish I could have had him just hold me all day but I couldnt..I tried to hide the marks on my arm and I did a pretty good job besides that school was ok. Lunch Britanee and I jumped in the puddles. So lunch was fun math I just kinda slept I guess.. After school went to the farm didnt feel like staying I dont know why just wasnt in the mood came home had a nap Emma "my dog" feel asleep on my chest it was so cute Ilove that dog! Well I guess I better go have to study.Oh I dont think Im going friday and umm Im not sure about saturday most likely sat but not friday and Im not going to that ffa show at the end of the month I have to talk to Brander :( Oh well Love ya guys!
tori~
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| I love the way you look into my eyes and say "Everything will be ok" |
[Sunday
May
1st, 2005
3:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 to much homework! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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radio |
] |
First off I want to thank you guys that commented on my last entry! That meant alot to me. I had a problem that I dont want to talk about now because it is over and done with thank god! Anyways I am fine now.
Yesterday was ok it could have been better. Andrew came over we didnt go bowling. But we did talk. He gave me his gold necklace :) God I have no clue what I would do without him. There is just something that I dont know .... Anways We took my mum to work then dad and I went to that show thingy. One thing I will say is "I wont ever ever do that again!!!" I helped Jen at the door with tickets and bracelets. I finally got to watch some of the show but then I got to watch the damn kids joy joy! :) The show was pretty good neil's match was good I liked that one out of all of them. Some old big names were there cant remeber their names haha. But one Lex Luger was a dick that guy sucks and is such a pussy! Anyways we got out of there about midnight went and got something to eat came home ate and talked to Jade then went to bed.
Today has been boring dad is being a dick errr I hate him so much sometimes I wish he would just leave. Ive done most of my homework still have history. I will finish it in a sec after this... Talked to Britanee earlier and Kim. Fun Fun. Britanee asked me if I was ok because she saw my last entry and we talked about different things. Well I am going to go because I need to finish my homework big grade!
Love ya Tori~
edit~ answer them plz!!
Got it? BE HONEST!
>
>ANSWER: yes, no, kinda, sometimes, not really, definately not
>Ugly?
>Kind?
>Quiet?
>Loud?
>Shy?
>Weird?
>Selfish?
>Ghetto?
>Crazy?
>Pretty?
>nice?
>Mean?
>Immature?
>Rude?
>Cool?
>Brat?
>Stupid?
>Caring?
>Mature?
>friend?
>More than a friend?
>Talkative?
>Boring?
>Beautiful?
>Creative?
>Smart?
>A flirt?
>A psycho?
>Athletic?
>Confusing?
>Sweet?
>Mood swings?
>Attractive?
>Annoying?
>Funny?
>Hyper?
>Laid back?
>Perfect?
>
>JUST SOME QUESTIONS
>8. Describe me in 3-5 words
>9. If u could tell me one last thing what would it be?
>10. If u could ask me anything..what would it be?
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[Saturday
April
30th, 2005
12:29am] |
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IM JUST A FUCK UP AND I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!
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| She has you head over heels and i cant even make you stumble |
[Friday
April
29th, 2005
9:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
Wow I havent wrote in sometime now... I guess its because I have been busy? I dont know. Stuff has been ok I wish it was better but hey you cant always get what you want.Ive been having alot of fun at schol kinda... Skipping alot but its not my fault! lol Im starting to talk to my different friends more and I like that alot that means I have more people to hang out with! SCORE! Well it is one week tomorrow till EarthdayBirthday! I cant wait I am with the gurls are going to ahve so much fun! Well this weekend I hope will be fun hanging out with Andrew :) then I dont know I might hang out with umm Im not sure! anyways I have nothin else to say this entry waz point less but oh well love ya guys!
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| I Love him with all my heart! |
[Monday
April
25th, 2005
9:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
Omg I have never felt this way before! I feel so happy on the inside my heart is just going so fast! I love him so much. He makes me feel so happy when he is around!I feel so safe when he holds me in his arms I want him to let go! I love Andrew so much you guys! Britanee knows what I am talking about!
Today at school waz ok. I didnt go to first omg that class is so boring! I think I might die in there! I got tehre for second and had an ok time. Mr Jones waz being an ass by the end of class. I hope those fucking computers die! Mrs Tills class "history" waz ok nothin really big. I think I failed my vocab test buts its all good I have an 80%! SCORE! Lunch waz smae old same old nothin new there. Math waz kinda fun today Jade Jill and I talked all class period about different things like umm nvm not telling lol heheh.After school went to the farm nothin big there either feed my loving steer. He is looking better each day! :) Came home talked with my mum then took a nap had dinner didnt feel like eating then did homework and tlaked to Kim. Got online didnt do much but look at phones and talk to Britanee!
I took some pics when I got bored so Im going to put one on here.Its gay!Well I think Im going to go Im tired! Oh one more week till Earthday Birthday! Well I love ya guys!
I love Andrew!
Love tori~
I am such a loser!
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| Cowboy take me away fly this gurl as high as you can... |
[Saturday
April
23rd, 2005
10:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my parents talking |
] |
Well Im sorry I havent been on my computer was messed up! But now it is all fixed. I will catch you up hmm school has been ok I guess same stuff as always... I have been fighting with my dad alot err he pisses me off so bad! Anyways today I went to Daytona to get my mum and we went for breakfest yummy! Then Target I got 2 new mathing suits omg their so CUTE!Then we went to Walmart I got my hair cut it looks the same kinda I dont know????????Well then also today I was suppose to go to Ormand with Kim and Adam but noo I didnt! Oh well it rained anyways but I was a little upset about going to the condo with Kim but I will get over it. I understand but Im not going there in here!Omg I got to drive today to the farm I didnt do bad!Then lets see what else oh dad and me went to go get dinner at olive garden yummmmy!Saw some people there that were eating dinner before their prom.They looked so pretty and cute lol. Came home Ive been cleaning because Andrew is suppose to come over tomorrow but I dont know because I havent talked to him :( hmm aww you have to see the picture I have of the new baby calf at the farm so cute also this pic thingy jade did. she made one that said "I love you" and one that says "I love Andrew"
heheehee well I will put the i love you up ok later guys Im bored! tori~
I love you guys!
The new baby at the farm! so cute!
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| The drugs are finally kicking in..... |
[Tuesday
April
19th, 2005
7:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the radio |
] |
Well I am sick great I know! I blame Mr Jones my reading teacher for this! I sware I thought I waznt going to get sick and I am.Well besides being sick things are going ok? I didnt go to first I didnt want to a planter gurl. I got there just as the bell rang to go to second walked with Brooke, Ash and Bree. Brooke is so funny I told her why I didnt come to first she laughed at me.So I went to made fun of my teacher for getting me sick talked to some people did my work yea yea. That class is getting sp boring! But Mr Jones liked my picture! third waznt that bad my teacher there is sick too she finally came back today. So we didnt have much work so when I waz done I wrote a poem I might put it in here Im not sure yet? Or maybe you can just IM me and can ask me for it? I dont know anyways lunch waz ok listened to Kims ipod for a little walked around and talked. OMG Britanee I so agree with you I hate that Nick kid errrr! Anyways I went with Kim to get a drink and saw Adam omg that kid man he waz like " Victoria it looks like you have a big dick in your mouth" I have a cookie cone ice cream ok. So I hit him then he waz like "you eat that slow"me " so just because I dont eat like you" Then he threw chips at me and it went down my shirt! err j/k he is funny! Then fourth waz kinda boring math I get it so yea.... Ummm after school walked with Andrew then went to the farm those damn cows got in the feed room again so we were cleaning it.. and Bruce had to fix my cows water! because some other cow broke it!Then I came home and feel asleep on my mum's knee lol had dinner and now waiting for my dad to come home with something! I think Im going to get in the shower soon and just take it easy for the rest of the nite because of this damn cold I mean I am feeling better but I think I still might not go to first? Oh well I better go love ya!
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| Once again the pretty gurl wins.. |
[Monday
April
18th, 2005
10:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
Well things are a little better our car is fixed! Yay that means I can drive! Well this weekend not sure about everything I know on sat. Im getting my hair cut. Score! The onlt thing that sucks rite now is I think Im getting sick errrrrggg! School waz gay a waste of a day if you ask me. Specail because we had old gym again err we were going to go to second but Amanada Short blew that one forevery! loser! errrr oh well? No one came to school today Jill and I hung out in math today because we finished early so we went to the bathroom and walked around a little fun fun. Her and I need to hang out we live near a eachother! Well theres nothin else to say Im skiping first period tomorrow dont feel like being miss planter! Oh here are some picture from sunday when I got bored and some from school have fun!
love ya tori~
live journal is being gay again so here is the link
http://photobucket.com/albums/y108/CornBread202/?action=logout
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| What Would Life be Like If.... Love Never Happened |
[Saturday
April
16th, 2005
10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
Today waz gay at first! Talked to Kimmy like all day. God I cant go a day with out talking to her! :) Love ya bae! I also talked to heather she said she would make me a background and guess what she did! Omg look at it its so kool! I love it Heather!!! She also made it so you can see through the entries omg so kool! Well Andrew came over again today :) I had fun lol haha. He just left at 9:30. We might get together tomorrow I dont know. Omg today my uncle called like 50 times so I called him abck and talked to him for 2 hours I thought I waz going to DIE!He bugs me so much I hate him! Well I dont know what else to say but what do you think of my new layout you better say pimp! j/k love ya guys!
ps Kimmy things will get better just know I love you!
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broken4life22's journal